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Jacked Up


Capitals Drop 7 on the Sharks, Ryan Leonard Suspected of Performance-Enhancing Witchcraft
The Washington Capitals continue their hot streak with a 6th consecutive win. The squad opted to show the San Jose Sharks no mercy, scoring 6 goals in the first two periods in a performance reminiscent of Genghis Khan's razing of steppe villages. The Sharks, on the other hand, played a 23/24 adjacent game before remembering how to play hockey and putting up a consolation marker in the 3rd. There were a good few memorable performances from the Caps, with Ovi keeping up the tea
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1 day ago1 min read
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Caps Dethrone Kings, Wilson Nets Goal #16, and Alex Ovechkin Continues to Prove Himself a Capable Senior Citizen
The Capitals extended their win streak to 5 with a win over the Kings tonight. Tom Wilson continues his hot spell with another goal on Darcy Kuemper, who tonight payed homage to his former team the Arizona Coyotes by losing. Wilson's marker was assisted by a heavenly pass from the incredibly wise and talented Ryan Leonard, who keeps up his impressive rookie campaign. Beauvillier finished off a beautiful team goal to give the Caps the lead back early in the 3rd, and Protas emu
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3 days ago1 min read
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Caps Bludgeon Islanders with Little Regard for Mental Well-Being
The Washington Captials showed the New York Islanders what a real hockey team looks like with a commanding win on Sunday. The victory was headlined by a 2 goal performance by Tom Wilson, with one spectacular assist from Ilya Sorokin, and a brace of empty-netters, with one of which of course being bagged by the Great 8. The standout performance of the night however, was the future greatest of all time Ryan Leonard, who recorded a dazzling secondary assist, and worked very very
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4 days ago1 min read
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